Jason marvelled as he took in the breathtaking scenery around him. He was driving down a narrow winding road that weaved its way down a mountain range with deep plunging precipices that were as much a beautiful sight to behold as they were dangerous. There was hardly any traffic on this mountain road, and the feeling of peace and tranquility made the drive down a truly enchanting experience. 

Just as he was turning down a gentle incline that sharply turned to his right side, he came across a slow moving tractor and began overtaking it. He was only halfway done with overtaking the tractor, when he immediately realized the folly of overtaking at a bend. A Lorry appeared from round the bend, coming up the hill towards him. With only inches to manoeuvre around the tractor before a head-on impact with the Lorry, he stepped hard on the accelerator lunging forward, and quickly swerved. He barely squeezed through between the oncoming Lorry and the tractor, but soon found his car careening wildly towards the deep precipice on his left that could easily send his car plunging down a 1km drop into the valley below.

He hit the guardrail hard and the loud squeal of metal grinding against metal ensued for about 5 seconds before he finally brought the car to a stop. He caught his breath as the tractor driver came to a slow stop behind him. He jumped out of the car and went to the side of the car that hit the guardrail to inspect the damage. As he looked at the deep dent and scratches on his car, his eyes shifted to the deep valley just beneath the guardrail. The tranquil calm and a cloudy mist that covered the valley deceptively concealed the sure death that would have befallen him had the guardrail not stopped him. 

Our Marriage Cell group embarked on a group study based on Andy Stanley’s study guide on “guardrails”, and in the guide, Andy defines a guardrail as a system that keeps vehicles from straying into dangerous or off-limit areas. What was amazing about the study is the rich application in marriage especially in the area of extra-marital affairs. Rarely will a man or woman set out to deliberately enter into an affair. What starts as an innocent interaction, say between work colleagues has the potential to create an emotional entanglement that may soon become a steamy affair. Such a scenario could have been avoided in the first place if clear boundaries and rules of engagement were defined clearly.

Songs of Solomon 4:8 gives this warning “… Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires”.  Engaged Couples planning to get married know all too well the importance of setting boundaries early in their relationship to define their own physical engagement with each other if their goal is to remain pure until the day of their wedding.

The following are examples of guardrails/ boundaries that marriage couples can set together and mutually agree on to safeguard the marriage from the devastating effects of affairs to the survival of the marriage. (Note that the list is not exhaustive, and couples are free to define and agree on what works best for them):

• Avoid extended one-on-one exclusive engagements/projects with a person of the opposite gender. (Exclusive here meaning, private or away from the public).
• Avoid the temptation to provide private one-on-one counselling sessions to a distressed person of the opposite gender
• Avoid giving (or receiving) a lift to a member of the opposite gender if they are alone
• Avoid visiting a member of the opposite gender alone at their house

The greatest motivation for setting these boundaries should be to honor God in your relationship/ marriage and submit to His will as described by Paul in James 4:7 “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you”. Another motivation should be to honour your partner and promote accountability to each other. This will help build friendship and trust in the relationship.