Genesis 3:1-3  Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die’” – New International Version (NIV)

Cambridge dictionary defines Conversation as “a talk between two or more people in which thoughts, feelings, and ideas are expressed, questions are asked and answered, or news and information is exchanged”. While it’s interesting to note that the first recorded conversation (dialogue) in the bible was between Eve and the Serpent; this should ring alarm bells for any married couple!  This is the same conversation that led to the downfall of humanity, and introduced sin into the world. Would this have happened if Adam engaged his wife more and discussed these same issues deeply?

I recall a time in my career when I was posted by my employer in Uganda and my family was back home in Kenya; and I would go for long periods of time being physically separated from family. I would make a point most evenings to call my wife and children and we would have lengthy conversations on phone to compensate for the lost face-to-face contact. One evening after such a call, I was amazed when I checked the call duration and found it to be almost 2 hours!

Later when God opened a door for my family to join me in Uganda, I got concerned when after a period of being physically together we all got back to our normal routine. Due to the demands of our daily work schedules, I noticed that the conversation time particularly with my wife had significantly reduced to hardly 5 minutes in the evening over the dinner table. My wife and I had to deliberately set up “couch time” to converse privately for at least 15 minutes after we had prayed with our boys and tucked them into bed. 

Our motivation for this was because we knew the importance of conversation in marriage. A marriage that is starved of conversation is usually ripe ground for marital infidelity and the buildup of extra-marital affairs. This is because married people (particularly the wife) MUST converse! The couple must ensure that conversation between a Husband and Wife must take top spot – not conversation with the children, not with siblings or parents of the couple, not with work associates, not with  girl-friends/ boy-friends. All these conversations are important, but that between the husband and wife must always take center-stage! This will prevent the “serpent” from craftily weaving the seed of infidelity into the marriage by creating an alternative conversation.

The conversational spark tends to die off after a few years of marriage and couples start wondering what to converse about. At this point conversation is reduced to updates on whether bills have been paid, or the need to take a child to the hospital. 

This is the time for a married couple to be DELIBERATE about setting a definite amount of time daily to reaffirm their marital commitment; and re-evaluate shared family values; and even (most importantly) pray together.